The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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