she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
