my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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