I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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