Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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