when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
