do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
