Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
