If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
