that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
