I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
