Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I am in a vortex of obligation.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
