Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize