So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
