she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
This baby is an asshole
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
