just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
