my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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