Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
