I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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