Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
