Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
