He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize