When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
