Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I think my fart just growled at me.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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