do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
