Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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