can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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