So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
