just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
