I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
