Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
