I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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