youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
