The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
