singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize