Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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