I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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