god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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