So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
