Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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