Everything about him screamed your future.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize