Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
