2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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