this beer tastes like vomit already
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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