HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He shit in the fireplace
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
