so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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