You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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