We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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