Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
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