Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
