I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
