I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
