I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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