You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
sex in a hospital.. check
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
