There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
