am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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