I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
