Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
