I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
you had me at cake vodka
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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