its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
