Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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