so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
