You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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