I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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