I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
