I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
