I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
It's blow job season.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
