we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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