too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
