last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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