yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
