I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
