somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I think my nap took me to another dimension
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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