There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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